celebrating my life is NOT about lying to myself

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I originally did a point by point discussion with your previous direct response to me, Kate. I spent a lot of time on it, but I think it was in vain because I really don't think it would have made any difference in how you view me or my message to people. I'll include just this final portion in the interest of getting to the point.

I just feel sometimes you give people not so great advice when saying this and seems very selfish and immature.

Understood. You think my advice is "not so great". You believe I'm "very selfish and immature".

I've learned when I was growing up to care about others more than myself and to always be a host even at a guest's house. I guess I am the only one here, so I must be wrong.

Kate, your words are filled with anger and hate. You've attempted to argue that I think murder and child molestation are ok. What a terrible thing to imply.

It's your right to think whatever you want about me. I don't know where all this is coming from... I can't help but wonder if there is any outside input from others to fuel the fire. Regardless, this is how you feel. So be it.

You brought me to tears with your terrible sentiments about me. I really believe you wanted to hurt me... and you did. Congratulations. I'm not ashamed to cry though. If I can wear heels, lipstick and eyeliner, I can cry too. I heal quickly though. I've got life to celebrate.

I understand you are thoroughly disgusted by me and my attempt to empower others to truly live their lives. You may want to add me to your ignore list. Do so and you won't see my avatar, signature, or post-content any more (except for when people quote me).

I know you're young and still working through things in you life. For what it's worth, I think you'll do ok... once you're a little more sure of yourself and ready to work it all out.

One more quick point:

Self-acceptance... so you think I don't have that because I care or you *THINK* I feel guilty for dressing because of what others think?

Perhaps she thinks you feel guilty because of what you clearly spelled out here:

I think alot of this is coming from what I think SO will say... it's like without her approval I think anything I do is wrong. I feel really guilty and bad when I dress up and do stuff like go out to wal-mart.

Of course, my "not so great" advice to you in that thread was to not feel guilty... which several other members echoed as well. If I spent more time, I'm pretty sure I'd find more instances of you clearly stating that you feel "guilty" and "confused" in regard to your cding... but I doubt it would matter. You think very terribly of me and my words only seem to fuel your hatred.

I'm done arguing points with you - the wheels are spinning but the car just isn't moving. Believe what you want - it's your right. Fire back all you want. I'm letting this go.

My continued presence on this forum should no longer irritate you after adding me to your ignore list. I'm so sorry you found me to be so disturbing. Love me or hate me, I hope you'll celebrate your life too.

Gabrielle, You know that you do not have to explain yourself or your words to anyone here.
That being said. I happen to like what you have said... Any way I am here to cheer you on. To tell ya to keep on gurlen and to celebrate life as much as you want and as best you can. Whoo Hooo!!!!! I would love to have a little Celebration with ya. In real time. Someday maybe.... PaulaN

Thank you, Paula. I know I don't need to explain myself to anyone, but I wanted to try and clear up any misunderstandings if possible. It was worth a shot, anyway.

Thanks Gabe, I just wanted you to know that what you are saying is not falling on deaf ears! I really appreciate your honesty and sincerity in all your posts. So keep, Celebrating Your Journey and how far you have come as a person!

Shhhhh! "Gabe" is my man-side. Call me Gabi.

Thank you though - it means a lot to me to know that my message is understood and appreciated. I will always celebrate my life, and I hope you will as well.

I believe what Gabrielle is saying is love yourself, love who you are, be true to yourself and the rest will fall into place.

I believe you are correct! That is exactly what I'm saying... or trying to anyway. Not sure where I went wrong, but you can't win 'em all, right? Got to give it a shot though.

...When feellings are real, but wrong and unethical, it's those feellings which must adjust and give way and not that right ethical thing they react to. When slave-owners had to treat black people as their equals, when Hitler had to see a Black man beat White men at the Berlin olympics, when men had to start obeying women bosses in the workplace it was emotionally hurtful for them. But it was right.

Thanks for chiming in, Batty. You make excellent points, as always.

Did you ever wonder why you need to pass as a female? Why does being seen as a man in a dress disappoint you so?

It's not something I wonder about - I know exactly why I want to pass as female. It's simply my personal goal in feminine appearance. When I do myself all up, I want to see a female appearance in the mirror, not a man in a dress. I think it is safe to say that every crossdresser has slightly different reasons and goals in their dressing. My personal preference is to look as female as I can possibly look. It's just my goal - the thing I shoot for. It's the strike in bowling. It's the home run in baseball. It's the touchdown in football. I think you get my point. Regardless, I doubt I'll be able to pass because of my physical attributes, but I'll do my best anyway. I want that home run!

Gabrielle never implied that she does what she likes and "to hell with others' feelings!" What she did say was that she'll do what pleases her now without a feeling of personal guilt. And that kind of self acceptance is what she is calling on us to work at acquiring, not a self-absorbed, totally self pleasuring lifestyle...

Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! You get me. Many people get me. Sadly, some people don't... or perhaps they just don't want to or whatever. To each her own, but thank you so much for understanding me and saying that. It really means a lot to me.

Hi Gabriella

I just love you. So confident in your life. It is wonderful... Like most of the rest we have all been though the ruff times also. It is amazing how we have similar stories.

I admire you inner self. You are like a breath of fresh air. You tell it like you see it with such commitment..

Thank you, Jill. Yes, I am confident in my life. I have to be - it's the only life I have. It took me a long time to get here, but I thank God I made it. Sounds like you're doing very well in your life as well. Celebrate always! Stand tall and proud to be who you are. Respect yourself and others will respect you as well. Thanks for sharing.

... and every cross dresser has his own set of what it means to them type of guidelines so to speak.. it's like listening to music.. there are those who love rock but you press them on it and it is only a very few bands some are into.. I like a lot of bands it rock and translated to my cross dressing...

An interesting analogy, Carly. Everyone has their thing, and so long as it brings them joy, what else matters? All of a sudden, I have the Donnie and Marie song in my head "I'm a little bit Country, I'm a little bit rock and roll." It's true though - we're all individuals with our own personal preferences and styles. Nothing wrong with that at all.

...I also spent most of my life denying who and what I actually am and only in the past few years have come to love myself completely. I don't understand why people have to be judgemental about who we are...

I'm so glad you found your way, Jasmine. You made it over the dark hump and learned to love yourself. What a precious thing! Be a positive example of who we are and let the world know we're not freaks. If we all stick together on dispelling the negative cliches, maybe we can bring about positive change sooner rather than later.



Thank you everyone, for taking the time to read the long posts in this thread. There is a lot of positive energy here and that's good for ALL of us.