celebrating my life is NOT about lying to myself

[Satrana]

The other part of CD is basically most of us, presenting themselves like a girl, wig, makeup, trying to pass. Wearing the woman's jeans only when presented as a woman. Wearing forms and bras. Especially this point, as a "guy liking girly stuff" there is absolutely NO reason you need to wear a bra or forms. A bra is for breasts to support, that's like saying you want to wear a seatbelt when you're walking around... There is no purpose to that. If you want to pretend you're in a car all day long, yeah fine go wear a seatbelt to Wal-Mart, that's essentially same as being a woman and wearing forms and presenting as a girl in public.

Let me take a crack at this point. I agree at first sight, there is no reason for a CD to wear a bra if the CD is not trying to be a woman. However there is more to it than just practicality after all we choose the clothes we wear as a means primarily of self expression, practicality is secondary.

Bras are very symbollic feminine wear, wearing one makes you feel feminine, so from a CDing point of view wearing a bra fulfils the need to feel feminine. Just like women's business suits always have padded shoulders because this increases the feeling of dominance and self assertiveness from this masculine body form. Women's suits do not need padded shoulders but women look more assertive with them and that is an asset in a business environment.

Secondly the overall feminine appearance that we like so much is not just based on clothes but also on a feminine body shape. The two are intrinsically linked together to form the feminine look. Put a muscular man into a dress, and no matter how stunning the dress is, he will still look masculine. The bra is therefore an important item to produce the feminine look.

Yes, so do I. I don't want to be seen as a guy in makeup and a dress, I want to be seen as a female if I'm out and about. My goal in cding is to present myself as close to believable female as possible. It's the female appearance that I love, and I want to own that appearance myself

Did you ever wonder why you need to pass as a female? Why does being seen as a man in a dress disappoint you so? To me this is remnant of transphobia, you have now embraced your femininity and celebrate expressing this side of you but only as a woman. You see to me the need to think of ourselves as women is a neat trick to sidestep our transphobia - if we are a woman then none of the issues about expressing our femininity arise.

By all means perfect the feminine image because that is what you love to look like, but does that really mean you cannot do that without you and others recognizing your manhood. IMHO that is the missing link towards full acceptance - acknowledging a man can look like a glamorous sexy woman without the need to abandon the truth that he is a he and there is nothing wrong in that. Which means celebrating not just your crossdressing behavior but celebrating that you can do that as a man without feeling embarrassed.