I'm growing to hate Halloween

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Well, that sums it up - I'm growing to hate Halloween.
I just returned from a Halloween party thrown by a co-worker. There were many wonderful and fun people there and I had a reasonably nice time I suppose. The thing is, so many women were wearing cute and adorable costumes, and yes, more than one or two were sexy as well.
Yup, I think Halloween sucks . . .

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...73&postcount=1

Yup, Halloween sucks....which sucks because it was for many years my favorite holiday, but now the TG thing has to mess it up a little.

I actually don't encourage people to do Halloween en femme, though I'm not opposed to it either. I think it's something that needs to be thought about seriously, because "experimentation changes you". It did me. I did an en femme Halloween in 2001, haven't done it since, in part because it feels like I'm being dishonest in a way.

"Ha ha, I'm transgendered/TS who hasn't started transitioning, and you can't say anything because it's Halloween!"

If you read my post you'll see where I picked up my late mother from the "sheltered workshop" where she worked. Several of the staff members saw me and made a big fuss.

Well....now I recently got hired to work at that very same place as staff and during my training a few weeks back one of the other staff members brought that Halloween up. She still remembered and commented on it in a way that was a bit nosy and implying she thought she had some idea of what was going on behind the scenes. My sister has mentioned that this same person has brought it up before.... "Remember that year when your brother dressed as a woman, and he did his own makeup" yadda yadda yadda.

That worries me a bit, even though I do want to transition so I'm going to come out anyway in due time.

So I can understand your wifes trepidation. Crossdressing well, gets remembered and noticed.

But that doesn't mean I don't want to wear a women's costume...coz I do. I just can't bring myself to do it because of the "honesty" thing on my part. This year I'm working Saturday so the choice was put off....but I wanted to.

Its sucky to hear that. Sorry about that Kim.
But look at the bright side, you get to do a lot, stuff that other girls on here only wish of doing.

Indeed, Kim is a role model to me too.

So, a no go for halloween, sucks yes, but you can always think of it this way - leave it for the folks in the closet to enjoy, you have the other 364 days to be out.

Don't worry, Halloween for us CDs is like New Years and St. Patty's day is for heavy drinkers - amateur hour!

Yup.

Does everything have to be a difficult compromise that neither of you are happy with?

Sometimes, yes, I think. Especially for the transfolk I call "Protos" One way of putting it is that "Protos" are Transsexuals who call themselves crossdressers, not by mindset or nature, but by a choice that they'd have rather not made.

All of us get down sometimes and feel like the beauty, the success, the relationships, or the entire lives of others are rubbing our faces in what we will never be. Hang in there, Kim!

Yup.

Has there maybe been "too much Kim" lately? I'm sure at one point you both were fine with everything. Has your envelope maybe gotten bigger, and she's resenting that what used to be "us" time is becoming more "you" time?

That could be.

And it's true, with the time we've put into achieving where we are in feminine presentation, we'd be a little tooooo good at it to not raise some eyebrows.

Yes, indeed.

So for me, Halloween is all about the kids. I will enjoy the event with them.

Yes, I've tried to focus on enjoying the joy of the kids (and their parents) that come to the door for the candy.

You're traveling as a woman, posting youtube videos singing your own work as a woman,.......

Of course, I think you know you're annoyed because you get a sense of how much you'd enjoy running Kim past everybody and how it fits more with the "real you" than the "fake you" you have to show everyone for the sake of "the rules." It'd be a break from following the rules and it would be nice to be honest in a completely socially acceptable way.

This is an opportunity for both of you to test the waters for what is to come. You get to be more of yourself, she gets to see if her fears and concerns make any real sense.
You meanwhile, may be thinking of doing more and more as Kim... If so she needs to know it when you do.

Either way, it would be better to float these issues safely now before it becomes the "cause" of a break up - where everyone assumes it's because you were CD/TG or whatever.

Hmmm, this is insightful and I think we both are thinking the similar things.

I'd never advise closeted folks to dress femme at Hallowe'en. You won't feel comfortable at a "straight" gathering, unless you really want your acquaintances to wonder about you for the rest of the year, unless you really want those pictures floating around on their facebook pages for eternity, unless you really want to make your wives and SO's uncomfortable, unless you really want to lose a bit of respect in the eyes of your friends (especially female friends).

This is also insightful.

Veronica Rogers