OK, I've stayed out of this thread long enough. But oh what an interesting discussion.
First and most importantly, my heart goes out to you Georgi. I feel your situation very acutely. We are similar ages, and have been married about the same length of time. I was very closeted. After finding this website, I was also affected by the "tell her" arguments. It took a couple years of baby steps, but I finally had the discussion about a year ago. It was hard and very scary. I was not sure how she would take the news. It wasn't easy. I was daily afraid she would walk out the door. Fortunately in my case, she took it calmly. She wanted ME to see a therapist, hoping it would cure me. She wouldn't go. In the end the therapist made me feel better about my dressing. She is now tolerating, as long as I keep it out of her sight. I know I am very fortunate, as your case shows, it could have easily gone the other way.
As seen in this monumental thread, there are arguements on many sides, but real life is never as neat and tidy as it seems in theory.
Georgi, good luck to you and your wife. I hope it works out for you. The only advice I can give is to continue to show your love, and give her time and space to get her own thoughts together.
Jaydee