Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
For example: let's say my wife and I see a woman wearing fishnet stockings. Without prompting, my wife says "I wouldn't be caught dead in those things. Anyone turned on by those is perverted". Well, what if I happen to like fishnets, and would be turned on by seeing my wife in them? Should I tell her that (complete honesty) and allow her to think of me as perverted? Or keep it to myself, knowing and accepting that it's not going to be part of our bedroom activities? And if I keep quiet, is our marriage doomed?
Absolutely. To each his/her own! But, if you and your wife had that conversation about fishnets wouldn't you seize the opportunity to ask her why she thought that? They may not be to her taste, but perverted?!

I'm not denigrating anyone who chooses to not tell. My SO didn't tell his first wife... or his second come to that! But perhaps there was a feeling of something being kept, a deceit or secret that caused the breakdown of trust, communication and eventual stagnation of the marriage?

The CDing isn't part of our bedroom activities either, but occasionally we have a laugh with it and talk about purchases, looks etc. My SO tells me he's always wanted to share it with someone - the getting dolled up and ready to go out - and now he can!

I do understand many of the reasons that the older CDers don't tell. But, I have a hard time understanding why the young ones don't. It's said over and over again here, it's not the CDing that's been the issue (in many cases)... it's the deceit.

ps. I bet you look great in fishnets! Many CDers do because they're blessed with fabulous legs. :D