I am still having a hard time understanding how two people can be married, live together, theoretically speak to each other for 10, 20, 30 years and not know how the opposite feels about some things. You know they don't like strawberries or they don't like rainy days or they don't like cats, but you didn't know they had such a reaction to men in dresses? We all have our own ideas of how marriages and love should go. Mine says if you love someone you love the inner person not the shell. It is why nature made our eyes fail as we age, so you can still see the person as they were but you love the person as they are. We all have secrets. Many don't impact how you and your spouse feel about each other. Some do impact how you feel about yourself and if that secret ferments long enough, it will impact how you feel about your marriage. Feeling like you are being held back (i e not having your spouse accept who you are) can lead to you not liking many things about them which leads to anger and divorce. My opinion, and that is all it is, is that if the presentation you have (the clothes) is enough to make your spouse not love you any more, just how much love was there to start? I also think that many times we know that love is tenuous and we hide to try and save it. But what happens when the next thing comes along that tips the balance (your job, not making enough money, being late because you really are working late for that money, your haircut or god forbid, you becoming ill)? We all react, that is a physical thing. We all have reason, that is an evolved human thing. It isn't so much the initial reaction but how we act afterward. If hate, distance or divorce are the actions after the initial reaction, how solid was the relationship to start?
