Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
I'm asking this in all honesty...do you ever feel like you deserve better/sell yourself short? You seem like a well-educated, attractive person...don't you kind of want something a little more substantial? Or, do you just kind of feel that the guy that is into you for having read "what you are" is all that you can hope for?
Well this can get kind of deep but I'll try and skim across the surface. The truth is that I am an incurable flirt, but alas if I don't feel the tingle, I won't be in the mood to mingle. I don't want to say I'm all talk cuz I have indeed seen a cockatoo, but I am much pickier than I probably let on. I haven't had sex in quite awhile and last time I did, it was with the only guy I was seeing all last year. Keep in mind that I came out as gay back in 06 and considered myself bi for years before that, so attention from men is nothing new to me. Being with a guy doesn't make me feel anything but sexy. I don't need them to validate my femininity or whatever and I certainly don't need to be cross dressed before I can be with one. Having said that, I still flirt and dance with men and women, because that's just plain fun.

Do I want more? Why yes absolutely, but as long as my face looks the way it does my relationship options are limited. I'm transitioning because I don't identify as a gay man. I am attracted to big alpha straight dudes. I yearn for the day when I can meet and have a conversation with a guy who might like me without having any idea that I used to look like a dude. I literally hate looking like a cross dresser which is exactly what I look like right now, which is why I rarely do it anymore. I went out with a really sweet guy last night and though he identifies as gay, he seemed to be really into me. So you never know, but yes I think you may be reading a little too deeply. I'm mostly playing counterpoint to the prevailing puritanism on the board.