Betrayed

[Raquel June]

I think something as contentious as going out fully dressed en femme, when the wife is safely at work is implied betrayal. To say that there was no agreement is IMO splitting hairs. There are lots of things in life and marriage that arent specifically gone over with a fine tooth comb, its just obvious what is expected.

For example - when you get married, its fairly well implied that you are not going to sleep around. You dont specifically agree not to do so. ...

OMG! Now you're equating dressing in a certain way with cheating on your spouse? Wow. Why don't you tell us what you really think about people with gender issues?

Going out of the house without your spouse is not a betrayal. And going out in a skirt is not a betrayal, either, in itself.

If this person had actually promised not to, that would be different. If the info was presented that this person was dressed like a prostitute then that would also change things.

We could make guesses about what this person's destination and intentions were, but without any actual information you are making an incredibly offensive assumption.

Regardless, this whole thread is suspicious. "Lola14U" sounds more like a stereotypical name for a CD, not a wife looking for support. And it looks more like the OP -- even if she is who she says she is -- just wanted to vent. Because she was never forthright with the information that would be required for people to give her any real advice.

Let me ask those of you who feel that "betrayed" is too strong a word.

Aside from the fact that Lola and her husband were kinky in the bedroom, do you feel that a GG in general is overreacting if she feels a sense of betrayal ...

She already knew he had women's clothes. She had seen him wear them. Where's the big shocker? What's the betrayal?

Is everybody here buying into the premise that stepping outside in the wrong clothes is morally equitable to joining a swingers' club?

I can absolutely understand the initial reaction from the OP, but I'm surprised by those here who are supporting that reaction instead of explaining that it could've been an innocent act -- even if it is something he is ashamed of and tried to hide.


Let's take a step back for a second and say that a guy joined an obesity support group. He joins and makes the following post:

My wife's cholesterol is well over 200. She has to take heart medication and prescription acid reflux meds. She has sleep apnea and needs a CPAP mask. The other day I came home from work and she obviously didn't expect me. She had her purse in one hand and a buffet coupon in the other.

To say the least I was shocked. We had gone to buffets in the past but always together. She told me she was on a diet.

I feel totally betrayed. What would you do?

Obviously people would tell him to be supportive or go to hell, not tell him he has a right to crucify her for a legitimate problem that she feels bad about already. And I shouldn't even be comparing crossdressing to lifestyle choices that drastically shorten your lifespan.



My point is that it sucks when someone's hiding something from you. But it also sucks being that person who's doing the hiding and hates him/herself. So many of us have been on the side where we're ashamed of who we are and just f-ing want to be obliterated from existance and be able to die without causing any pain to the people we love.

I'm not saying this guy is innocent, and maybe he doesn't have any of the feelings I'm talking about. Maybe he's a horrible person who was going to go cheat on his wife. But we don't know that.

And I don't blame the OP for feeling betrayed initially! Even though I think the OP is just a troll since she flat out ignores the question of what her husband was wearing and where he was going.


But that's not even important. The things people are saying here are ... I just don't know what to say.