Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
CDers believe themselves to be quite unattractive as men.
I didn't realize this but it sure makes a lot of sense. My H is a very attractive man yet he's actually very humble about this, if not oblivous. It makes sense now, though I find it incredulous that he thinks he's attractive when in female clothing! I guess this is the illusion so many here speak of.

And thanks for answering my other questions. I have much to think about. But really, if I'm honest, the place I'd like to reach would have me not thinking about CD at all! I find the worry and fear the worst part of all this. My annoying female brain never turns off when it latches onto anything vaguely concerning - my kids would tell you this! If my H did have a female side to him I imagine he'd worry a lot more about this than he does. Seems I'm doing enough worrying for the both of us.

I am interested in the FAB forum as I imagine I might find some good answers to my situation there too. Though, hearing the CD side has been very important as I don't know how my H really feels as being so close to the situation, it's very hard for either of us to communicate this at the moment. So hearing everyone's views/opinions has been great, even if some of it was difficult to read. The escalation in particular as I do feel this might be too much for me.

And yes, I do think other issues aside from CD have pushed us to this point - the family issues included. So perhaps a counselor might help us address these so I can figure out the CD better.

Meanwhile, I'll look wistfully back on the DADT days when I didn't have to think about this so much. For those H's living DADT, if it's not too stressful for you I do think it's probably best for wives who feel like me. I often wish I didn't know of his CD at all as it really has affected how I see him. And before everyone suggests I'm being close-minded here, the reality is you are all hard-wired to dress as women, while I am hard-wired to want a masculine man. I can't help this no matter how much I understand or learn to accept that he crossdresses. This need in me will never change, and I will be heartbroken if he can't meet these needs for me anymore.

Thanks again. DM