Things are good. Surprisingly good. It reminds me of what my wife and I are capable of, such happiness on both sides. But as has been the case throughout our marriage, the swings of the pendulum have been more dramatic than they would be if the TG issues weren't present. There is part of me which acknowledges this, that the current state of bliss isn't necessarily a permanent one. But there was a time not all that long ago when I thought that finding that state of perpetual happiness was somehow dependent on my wife finally "getting" me. That being willing to hang out with me while presenting as female and opening the floodgates of communication would be the ticket. These days, I don't believe these things are necessary. I think I "get" her in that I have a better understanding of what she is going through and sometimes it's better not to force an issue which might be part of some fantastical ideal, my elephant notwithstanding of course.
So all that said, here we are in the hustle & bustle of the holiday season. Things have been busy on so many fronts that my head is spinning. What happened this weekend though was kind of interesting when looked at in the context of our version of DADT.
Friday night, we were going to this holiday dinner with colleagues who I work with at an amazing restaurant. My wife was lamenting that she didn't have anything to wear so as I sometimes do, I retreated into my "closet" and pulled out this cute black Calvin Klein dress which I bought around this time last year but had yet to wear. I loved the style but it is a size small. It fit me but honestly, a medium would have been better so it has gone unworn ever since. Of course it fit her much better and she looked beautiful. The dress is hers now.
Fast forward to Saturday night. She had bought a couple dresses for a Christmas party but neither were working out so well. Back to my bag of tricks where I found this purple Max Studio dress which I had purchased on Black Friday. This time I had two of them. I gave her the medium which still had the Nordstrom tags on it. This one fit me well enough but I liked the dress so much that I found it in large which worked a bit better for me (go figure the sizing thing, we've gone from small to large and everywhere in between). This dress was even better than Friday's. She looked amazing, like a jewel among her wonderful friends who have known one another over 20 years.
The moral of the story, sometimes it can be helpful having an elephant in the house.
ps - VM & Raquel, I still owe you replies.