kelly, I don't assume "30 years of disappointment" I know. When you spend your life with someone you get to know them pretty well and you can be fairly confident of knowing what their response will be to this kind of thing.
Telling a girlfriend at the get go no matter how much you may love them is a low risk option, what is the worst thing that can happen? they dump you. When this kind of feelings develop later and you have vested years into a marriage and children etc etc the stakes are a LOT higher and a LOT more caution is required as the worst case scenario is a lot worse.
