When this kind of feelings develop later and you have vested years into a marriage and children etc etc the stakes are a LOT higher and a LOT more caution is required as the worst case scenario is a lot worse.
This is part of what I have been saying. I am just adding that in such a scenario, one must factor in the delta between damage done by "Honey, we need to talk about something," and an inadvertent discovery.
The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs. We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.