Nobody said that it is required, and you yourself agree that honesty would make for a better relationship. It seems to me that the OP wants to be in a relationship, as opposed to just having sex. No one is saying that she has to wear a sign around her neck or broadcast to the world that she is TS.Originally Posted by Melissa A.
*Sigh* Again, if we don't disclose, we are "decievers" and "tricking" people. Damn. Honestly, sometimes we're the most Transphobic people around, and our own worst enemies. As an adult, a Trans woman has a right to want anything she wants, like anyone. Whether that be sex or a relationship is everyone's right to choose, at any given time.
It may be more honest, better for a relationship, allow one to breathe easier and safer, to tell. I happen to agree with all of that. Just don't tell me it's a requirement, or else I'm in the business of tricking people, and not honest.
Hugs,
Melissa
I am saying that IMHO a relationship that begins with secrets has less of a chance to succeed than one the starts out honest and up front from the beginning. If everyone lays their cards on the table "both" parties can freely exercise their "right to choose". Sure she can choose to not disclose, but if it comes back to bite her in the ass later, she has no body to blame but herself, by exercising her right to choose over the other persons.
You are all about rights, do her rights trump her potential SO's rights?
Wouldn't it stand to reason that if someone wishes to have an open and honest and loving relationship, they should begin it with openness and honesty? Let's take an example that doesn't even involve a TS.
Lets say that a woman meets a man, and from she gathers he meets all of things that she finds desirable in a mate. The only thing is that she desires children, but he fails to disclose the fact that he is sterile. This may be a deal breaker so instead of telling her, he keeps it to himself because he want to be in a relationship with her. Does his desire to be with her trump her right to bare children if she so desires?
Take this same couple and she expresses the desire to have children, but in this case he does disclose the fact that he is in deed sterile. It still may be a deal breaker or maybe they can exercise other options like adoption.Either way she at least gets the opportunity to choose.
I am only 26 years old and a lot of people seem to think that I am still wet behind the ears. Yet I see people here that are 20 or 30 years older than I am that still do not understand fairness. Am I that naive that I don't understand, or is they're seeming failure to be able to look at both sides of the coin because it doesn't fit their agenda of having things their way or the way they think that things should be? I am beginning to wonder if treating others the way that you would like to be treated is really meaningless, and looking out for number one is more in tune with some people's attitudes in here.
