Wow. Well, first I'm sorry you've gone thru all this. It is nice that you have the wife's support in the end. Too bad she couldn't stick around that earlier meeting but she has a lot to figure out herself and I can see that. On the one hand, for you, just freshly getting out to these groups is kind of more an exploratory thing..(same with me) to figure out what your CDing means in your life, to see what others see, and such.
It also seems to me that there's a bit of jumping the gun by that therapist. In a way I hope that it isn't the fact that she is first taking it a pure logical way that 'well he's gone to Transitions meeting..he must really want to change' and push things in that direction right away, ignoring the fact that it's early and you're just investigating the groups and what they're about. I had even seen those groups and wondered if it was something to check out. Ultimately I haven't yet. Not that I haven't thought of something long term like transitioning. I pretty much was Kacey for 3+ days fri, sat, sun, and into Mon and got out to GR, back to home and met friends for dinner, and other normal stuff. It felt great, relaxing, and natural. More and more going drab to work feels like the forced 'unnatural' side. I just feel that I, myself, would need more therapy work due to depressions and my life to really be sure. Add to that my income stinks so It's likely I'm stuck no matter what.

On the ending section.. Don't know about vulnerability. But I know that a lot of us here on the board are more in touch with their feelings moreso. I sure always have been. That boosts these emotions and makes it rougher to work thru.

I wish you the best wishes in stabilizing things.

On the finding a therapist that believes differently statement. I read it a couple of ways with this. I've read a lot on transitioner's experiences with the therapists they've gone to here and elsewhere, and see a few ways things can happen.

Usually (if I'm correct here) there's work done by 2 therapists - 1 for general issues, and the 2nd for gender.
For the transitioner, when the general is clear, and gender doc understands that the patient is truly needing the transition, they'll do the referral to an endocrinologist for HRT and continuing the physical medical side.

Thing is, I'm just a bit cynical too. I've seen stories of therapists keeping patients hanging around to generate more visits (and more $ for them).
I've seen some stories of gender therapists holding off progressing those that know they want and are meant to go on HRT and transition causing more stress and strain to the patient.

I'm not sure what to think on your experience Val.. Trying to 'speed up' a person thru transitioning this way. My cynical side tries to logically think that even a gender therapist should have several sessions to really work up the level of GD and what the person needs. By pushing things faster, there's fewer sessions (at least for this doc). Maybe she is reacting to the way many other docs hold up their patients' process and is just reacting quicker for less harsh or drawn out trauma (seen with severe GD cases). Maybe there's differences in it based on the patients ages.
Overall, I don't know and can't tell from the outside view of your experiences/discussions.

On the 'believes differently' side.. I dunno. There's one thing for going to a doc and figuring out an issue. (Again this seems to gave been figured out too fast to me). But the other side thinks a bit much about the aspect of going to docs until you get one that agrees with you. Like going to a doc and finding a cancer. You don't like this and so you go to another for another opinion. More tests. Cancer again. Spending months going to more and more docs till one (not too good of one) finally says it's nothing.
Then a time later you're real sick and they find cancer spread all over your body and now isn't treatable anymore. If it was treated earlier it might have been managed.
Difference here is more psych than medical of course. And harder to define.
But in some ways can be just as damaging.

I know all of these docs are supposed to be professional and supposed to have your best interests at heart.
But just be careful in ending up at a doc in your search for 'the match' may not truly have good gender experience to be qualified to help.

Anyways, take care and best wishes with whatever you figure out.