Dear MsVal - I think much good advice has passed already here and I've had the benefit of reading your later post, so I'll keep this brief...
I agree with others that this therapist you saw appears neither objective nor interested in really understanding you. I've read a lot of what you've written here and while I would accept that you share this TG-thing many of us exhibit, I would not have put you right at one end of the bell curve in that small percentage who are TS, let alone transition. I get the feeling from what you say here that there are still other things you are conflicted or confused about (in terms of gender roles and your relationships with others) and I am staggered that this therapist has not taken more time to explore other aspects of you and your life that would take way more than one session... I'm not a professional but others here are and have said the same: don't go back - find another!
It's not just 'a positive' that your wife is a saint and that you have such a strong and open relationship - it's the biggest thing you've got to help you through this. It is THE POSITIVE in all of this - and I know it's clear that you value it massively and rightly so.
Keep talking to your wife - Take your time over all of this - keep going to the Crossroads support - and find another therapist for you... that scares the bejeebers out of me and should you too, but in a way that just makes you find another! Maybe there's a chance they're correct, but I'm darned sure I'd want a more considered second opinion on something that significant...
And you are far from pathetic...You have been incredibly strong and honest to share so much with everyone here, and it's those two things and your relationship that will get you through this...
All the best
Katey x
