I'm growing to hate Halloween

[sherri]

Kim

I think that one of the most difficult things for a woman would be that everyone knows. Her friends know, her neighbors, know and her work colleagues know. And while they all know, they don't know the difference between homosexual, CD, TG, TS, etc., and even then, it might not make much difference. This is how it might sound, "Oh, my husband is not gay, he just likes to dress up in women's clothes."

I don't see this issue brought up enough in this forum, but I think this is a huge concern not only for SOs, but also for anyone of any consequence in our lives -- kids, friends, co-workers. But for wives in particular, our behavior reflects on them personally in such a major way, it becomes an identity issue for them too. And I don't think it's just a matter of questions about sexual orientation -- "crossdressing pervert" is damning enough in many people's minds.

That leads us to what I call the "Hillary (Clinton) Problem", as in "How can she stay married to him?" ... Lastly, I think you can wear a women's costume on Halloween maybe once every 10 years.

Have you ever seen men at costume parties who aren't usually crossdressers dress up? They look terrible. People like us on the other hand would do it so well, people would pretty much guess we've done it before. That, and I think we'd enjoy it way too much.

All these observations are so dead on, I think. And they really point to the heart of the matter -- it's only natural to feel resentful toward a particular person of influence in our lives when he or she puts the brakes on, but they're really just the personification, or voice, of the real problem. What's really chafing us is the common sense that dictates that unless we're willing to come out all the way and accept the consequences not only for ourselves but also for our loved ones, we have to accept limits that are frustrating, especially when it comes to being too obvious too close to home.

Something about all this doesn't add up to a happy family or a happy future if things continue like this ... You're traveling as a woman, posting youtube videos singing your own work as a woman, commenting on these pages daily, raising children in the same home... How long before you're outed in a big way and that's that?

Like so many people in this forum, I've grown so fond of Kim for her spirit and for sharing her exploits. I know she is an inspiration for many of us. But I've had the exact same concern you're expressing here -- such openness is gonna get her busted one of these days. I'm really kind of surprised her employer hasn't gotten wind of it yet.

"Yeah, that's him. Personally, I don't see it that way, but I like 'em and love 'em along with that... It's just part of the package, you know." ... Get the idea out there now so that later people can say:

"Well... You know... He did have a great costume at that Halloween party and it went over really well... I guess we know now why it was so good... Whewie. Well, if that's what he wants to do I guess it's OK; didn't do any harm then and can't see, considering they're pretty good folks, any harm now. God bless his wife for putting up with it. Hellva hobby, or, whatever it is."

Hmmm, there may be some people whose reaction would be that sanguine, but I think you're underestimating how vehemently many people would react. The mainstream stigma would be huge, or at least it would where I live. I've sort of been lecturing myself about that very thing lately.