Ok first welcome to our family. Now I am responding before I read all the responses why, Well I have a thought and want to express it first. Now for me and maybe for you BF when he's dressed he feels very feminine, So his emotions are right there. We men are taught to NOT get emotional and be manly. When he's dressed and you argue , He does not know how to handle the feeling and the raw emotion SHE is now having. Changing back to Male-mode is a self defence mechanism to keep his emotional ("DAM" so to speak) for breaking until he can get used to all of the fem-felling she will have. We are like little girls whom can't control of crying anger etc. Joy comes easy but the rest comes slower. We are like teenagers when it comes to shopping , makeup etc. We also have the emotion of a teen. Just not sure how to deal with it so she has to change back to something that HE can handle better. Now when you bf is in fem-mode more and experiences the wave of emotion's that women do ( granted we may never get there fully but we may get close) we are over whelmed by them. Just think of the way you feel when things go right , or go so wrong, That's when we can feel 24/7 since most of us can remember but could and was taught not to express. Now that he can it over loads her and makes her go the what she has been used to all her life.
Men and women have such a different way of dealing with there emotions that it can seam weired , but you just have to think , "my bf is dealing with two fully different sets of emotions that her/his feeling might confuse her/him. I only use her/him when I want to show the two side of a CD. We (most of us) have had this fight most if not all our life and when we have to deal with it fully it can scare , or confuse us. I have know I was a CDer since I was 4 , but did not know why and kelp it from everyone. So until I came out to my family and friends in 92 no one even had a clue. Now I can go out dressed and been having the time of my life. I have no girl friend right now but I am looking.
So if that happens again just tell her if you think she is going to change tell her that even though your arguing she should stay dressed cuz she need to deal with the emotions she feels. YNK she might have a break through.
I hope I helped , I may be off base but that's the way I see it. It's my :2c: worth. good luck and please keep and open mind she is very , very ,lucky to have you.
Ok i just read all through. There has been a lot of great advice here and only you can decide what you need to take.
Originally Posted by KellyV GG
When some one is in jail for 20 30 years and get out, Fear in all around, They can't get used to being free, their used to being told when to eat when to sleep , what to do for work etc. Now there out free and now there scared and don't know how to deal with it. It can be similar to CDing . You (locked up in your own mind) and now you find a GF that has set you free and you don't know what to think. Your so used to someone tell you what to do that the out side world seems big and scary. She also might be in denial on how long he has wanted to do this. Although some CDs have been late bloomers and found they like to dress after 30 40 50 years and it scares them and even if they have the love and acceptance of a GF they are as said ashamed and guilty cuz they don't know why there not the man they thought they were. The girls like me who knew since we were kids may be a little better and faster at excepting our true selves , but we still need time. As I said I came out when I was 22 to my family and I did not start dressing until last year Aug 8 2008 , that's how long it took me to (get ready to dressssssssssss) And I excepted my CDing when was about 10 to 13 or so. After I started to dress out in public it took me about 10 month to be really comfortable with all of my life as a CD. Your BF need time to get there .
The right questions are the ones in your heart you need to be asked. You need to sit HIM down and tell him you care for him as much as you do and make sure that he knows that you love his fem-side and will wait for him/her to be comfortable en-fem. It will be a waiting game until he figgers out his feeling . Just remember he has to deal with male and Female feeling. If you think its hard for you it will be twice as hard for him. Good luck and if you need My support just PM me hun KK.Your the best hun.
